I clutched the wheel, burned the trail in search of someone’s master plan, but I dragged myself into the ground in search of a fabled promised land. This could be my destiny or the death of me, whatever answers first, I could care less at this point, as long as my story gets told.

The empty dunes whispered certain doom and irrational fears began to swallow my every thought and burn inside my ears. It’s louder than the bombs that scream in my dreams. Can my will alone erase the things I’ve become? It’s hard to see past all my failures and loss when I’m stuck on the path to self-destruction.

I would leave everything for you, but I don’t know if you would for me

Calm in quietude is not real calm. When you can be calm in the midst of activity, this is the true state of nature. Happiness in comfort is not real happiness. When you can be happy in the midst of hardship, then you see the true potential of the mind.

I have no fear of losing you, for you aren’t an object of my property, or anyone else’s. I love you as you are, without attachment, without fears, without conditions, without egoism, trying not to absorb you. I love you freely because I love your freedom, as well as mine.

It’s pretty obvious that someone doesn’t want to include you in her life anymore when she answers a “What’s going on in your life?” with “I’m unpacking. You?” Point taken.

Mientras mas conozco a la gente mas quiero a mi perro

Fuck holes in my cheese. It’s just wasted space where more cheese could be.

Misery fucking loves me, 
and I love her so —
She is the cold embrace of no escape, 
when I’m left alone.
Misery fucking loves me, 
and I love her too.
She is the dying breath of nothing left, 
that I’ve become accustomed to.

“I’ve come here as a man in shambles—worn out from begging on my knees. 
Please, I’m just trying to keep my family together. 
Now, when you saw you’re lover wore a ring around her finger, why didn’t you stop?

I have half a mind to make you hurt, to make you bleed, to make you suffer. 
I swear, if you’ve touched her—oh, heaven, 
forgive what I would do to you, you monster. 
And think about your children? 
They’ll never believe what you’ve done.

Listen, I’m begging you, back off. 
Let me rebuild all the things that you shattered.

She meant it, I swear that she meant it, she whispered so often, 
‘Husband, I’ll always be here with you.’

But always is always and always is valueless. 
I wish I’d never heard her speak a word.

And I hope you see us—your wife and your children 
and I— buried in the wreckage of your crime, 
while you’re laying down your sins, 
softly leaning in to kiss your guilt goodnight.”

She is mine. You stole her, somehow tricked her but
We’ll survive. We will. She loves me dearly—you’ll see.
You are blind. She loves me dearly.

He finally paused to take a breath 
then looked down—it felt like staring into hell.
The man was seated in a chair before him, silent, 
a statue framed in pain and flesh. He thought, 
“Oh, what more can I say to sway him? To make this statue speak? 
I swear he’s made of stone and I am barely stirring up a breeze.”

And after waiting in the silence, 
finally turned around to leave.
Broken and barely through the doorway, 
breathing slowly, beating hard, he heard him speak:

“I guess love’s a funny thing—the way it fades away without a warning. 
It doesn’t ask to be excused. 
And when it’s gone—oh, it’s gone—and it ain’t ever comin’ back.

There is nothing you can do to save it, 
to make it breathe the way it did when you were sliding on the ring. 
Trust me: It’s gone for good.

Now there is nothing you can do to stop me. 
She is happy when she is with me and I am finally alive. I’m sorry.”

So now tell me how your story goes. Have you ever suffered?
If so, did you get better or have you never quite recovered from it?
Did you find your lover laying in your bedroom with another and then
Did you let it hover over you and everything else well after the fact?

Tell me everything. Tell me everything you know.

Were you told as a child how cruel the whole world can be?
Did anybody ever tell you that?
Tell me what your purpose is? Who it was that put you here and why?
Did anybody really put you here at all?
And what of those necessities? Like how to cope with tragedy and pain?
Did anybody ever show you how?
When it hits will my heart burst or break or grow strong?
Is there really only one way to know now?

I’m not sure if I’m ready yet to find out the hard way
How strong I am. What I’m made of.
I’m not sure if I’m ready yet to walk through the fire.
I’m not sure I can handle it.
Do you think if the heart keeps on shrinking
One day there will be no heart at all?
And how long does it take?
Am I better off just bursting or breaking?
Because I don’t see my heart getting strong.

Tell your stories to me. Show your bruises.
Let’s see what humanity is capable of handling.

Tell me what your worst fears are. I bet they look a lot like mine.
Tell me what you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night.
Tell me that you’re struggling. Tell me that you’re scared. No,
Tell me that you’re terrified of life.
Tell me that it’s difficult to not think of death sometimes.
Tell me how you lost. Tell me how he left. Tell me how she left.
Tell me how you lost everything that you had.
Tell me that it ain’t ever coming back.
Tell me about God. Tell me about love.
Tell me that it’s all of the above.
Say you think of everything in fear.
I bet you’re not the only one does.

Everyone in the world comes at some point to suffering.
I wonder when I will. I wonder.
Everyone is out searching for someone or something.
I wonder what I’ll find. I wonder.

The troops are quiet tonight, but it’s not alright, because we know they’re planning something. Don’t you know things have settled down, down, down? But silence is a dangerous sound, we must, we must, we must keep our eyes open, see what we see, what once was promised now will be. Still uncertain? Get off that hang, don’t wait for the bang, the tools, they will be swinging, but we will not be beaten down.